That thing I said last week about the work out not feeling like a working - that was bullsh*t. This week it was on. There was the standard, somewhat embarrassing trembling, but there was full on burn, internal cursing and mental gymnastics, i.e., The Buddha says, "there's nothing inherently good or bad about this situation, it just is". That thought process is good for another couple seconds worth of endurance.
The blessing is that while Courtney tells us to "hold it for 20" - I think for sure my thighs will split, ejecting lava and circular saw blades - she then instructs us to come out after 8. In this workout I appreciate the blessing of not being remotely mindful. A little mindfulness can mask subtle wandering. But as a lack of mindfulness fully ramps up, things can get so ridiculous that they summon awareness, like that whistle NY'ers do when hailing a cab. Example: the brow clenches hard enough to grip and twist off a bottle cap. At some point it's impossible not to notice, prompting a chuckle and a loosening that starts in the brow and then ripples down into a smile, through an inventory of the jaw, the shoulders, the sides of the rib cage, the angle of the pelvis, the spacing, angle and weighting in the feet. It's powerful - the suggestion of a loosening brow - a beneficent, furry drum major.
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